Sunday, 4 January 2015

Urdu Jokes - Part 9

Girl: Tum muj se kitna pyar karte ho?
Boy: Main tumse bahut ziada pyar karta hun.
Girl: Btao to sahi kitna pyar karte ho?
Boy: Yun samjo ke me mobile aur tum meri SIM. Tumhare baghair me bekaar hu.
Girl: Khushi se, I love you very much, jan.
Boy: Dil main hanste huwe, pagli tum ko kya pata ke China mobile me 4 SIMs aik sath chalti hain.

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Aik murgi ne 3 anday di'ye aur du'a mangi ke meri aulad siasatdan nikle. Jab aik anda tuta to Imran Khan nikla aur jab dusra anda tuta to Nawaz Sharif nikla lekin tisra anda tuta hi nahi to murgi preshan ho gayi. Itne me ande se awaz aye; ami ji me Altaf Hussain hun sirf phone par rabita ho ga.

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Doctor aik charsi ko bta raha tha ke cigarette noshi insan ko aahista aahista maar deti hai. Charsi ne jawab dia ke doctor sahib ye to achi bat hai muje kon si itni jaldi hai.


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Ik pathan 100 rupees wale note par likha number dial kar raha tha.
Sardar: Ye tum kia kar rahe ho?
Pathan: Me dekh raha tha ke Quaid-e-Azam to mar gaye hain ab unki sim kis ke pas hai.

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Pathan apne ghar ki billi se tang aa kar usay kahin chor aya lekin jab ghar aya to billi pehle pohnch chuki thi. Pathan billi ko dobara kahin dur chor ke aya phir ghar apni biwi ko phone kia ke billi pohnch gai hai ya nahin? Biwi ne kaha ke han pohnch gayi hai. Pathan ne gusse se kaha ke us kamini se bol ke muje aa kar lay jaye main rasta bhool gya hun.

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Biwi: Doctor sahib mera shohar jab bhi ghar ata hai, ate hi larai ker ke mujhe peetna shuroo kar deta hai.
Doctor: Wo jab ghar aye to tum 15 minutes tak toothpaste kia karo.
[Kuch dinu ke bad]
Biwi: Doctor sahib toothpaste karne ka itna faida huwa hai ke ab mera shohar mujhe kuch nahin kehta.
Doctor: Ye faida toothpaste karne se nahin, zuban band rakhne se huwa hai.

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1 Pathan namaz par raha tha to dusra Pathan us ke bare main dusre logu ko bta raha tha ke ye bahut namazi aur naik banda hai. Pathan namaz tor kar bola ke is ko ye bhi btao ke hum ne haj bhi kiya huwa hai.

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Aik shadi main Pathan aur Punjabi sath beth gaye to waiter ne chawal ke sath murgha bhi rakha. Pathan ne dekha ke murgha Punjabi ki taraf aur chawal Pathan ki taraf the. Pathan ne tray ghumaiya aur murgha apni taraf kia to Punjabi bola ye kya kar rahe ho. Pathan ne kaha pagal ke bache murghe ki tange qible ki taraf thi.

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Larki ki shaadi par uska pehla ashiq bhi saj daj kar betha tha. Logu ne pucha ke dulha tum ho? Larke ne kaha nahin main semi-final me har gya tha aur final dekhne aya hun.

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4 Pathanu ne petrol pump khola aur kafi din guzar gaye lekin koi customer na aya.
Kio?
Kio ke unu ne petrol pump dusri manzil par khola tha.
Phir wo preshan ho ge aur petrol pump ki jaga bakery dal li lekin phir bhi waha par koi nahi aya.
Kio?
Kio ke unu ne bahir se petrol pump ka board nahin hathaya tha aur log samajte andar petrol pump hai to andar na jate.
Wo aur ziada preshan ho gay. Unu ne sab saman bech kar taxi le li. Lekin booking ke liye koi nahi araha tha.
Kio?
Kio ke 1 taxi me wohi 4 Pathan beth kar booking dhondane jate aur log samajte ye to pehle se hi full hai.
Wo itne preshan huwe ke unu ne socha ke dusre shehar me chalte hain. Ho sakta hai ke waha booking mile lekin raste main un ki taxi keechar main phans gayi. Ab 4 Pathan bahir nikle dhaka lagane ke liye lekin taxi na aage ki taraf aur na hi peeche ki taraf hil rahi thi.
Kio?
Kio ke 2 Pathan aage se dhaka laga rahe the aur 2 Pathan peeche se.

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