Saturday, 3 January 2015

Urdu Jokes - Part 8

Pathan ne ghalti se kisi ko 100 ka balance bhej dia phir call ki aur kaha ke O yara hamara 100 rupees wapis karo. Admi ne jawab dia ke muje to 75 mile hain. Pathan ne foran kaha ke ruko! hum 25 aur bhejta hai phir 100 pura bejna.

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Pathan: Meri shadi nai ho rahi.
Dost: Kisi mazaar par jao.
[Aik saal baad]
Dost: Kya bana?
Pathan: Abi tak nahi huwi.
Dost: Kya mazaar par ge the?
Pathan: Han.
Dost: Kis mazaar par?
Pathan: Quaid-e-Azam ke.

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Sabzi wala sabzi par paani chhirak raha tha. Kaafi dair ho gayi to 1 pathan bola O bhai! agar bhindi hosh me agayi to 1 kilo de dena.

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Beti: Ammi mere English ke teacher kitnay khubsurat hain na?
Ammi: Beta ustad baap ki jaga hota hai.
Beti: Ammi ap hamesha apne chakkar me rehna, hamara na sochna.

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Laila ne Majnu ko 1 darakht ke peeche dekha aur boli tum Majnu ho na? Majnu bola han, main Majnu hun. Phir kuch dair baad use jhariyun ke peeche dekha to boli tum Majnu ho na? Majnu bola han, main Majnu hun. Phir kuch dair baad use deewar ke peeche dekha aur kaha tum Majnu ho na? Majnu bola; Laila khuda da Wasta'ee mainu tatti karan de.

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Pathan class main hans raha tha.
Ek larki boli: Stand up!
Pathan: Tum kon ho muje "stand up" kehne wali?
Larki: Main monitor hun.
Pathan: Haha, tera zamana gya, ab L.C.D. ziyada chalta hai.

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Girl: Hello jan, kya kar rahe ho?
Boy: Shave kar raha hun.
Girl: Jab bhi main tum ko call karti hun tum shave kar rahe hote ho. Tum din main kitni dafa shave karte ho?
Boy: Main taqriban din main 30 dafa shave karta hun.
Girl: Tum pagal ho kya?
Boy: No, main "naai" hun.

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Aik larka dusre se puchta hai ke larkion ko "I love you" bolne ki sab se acchi jaga konsi hai. Dusra larka bola ke Data Darbar sab se behtrin jaga hai kio ke waha par larkion ne joote nahin lagaye hote.

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Bus isi soch main aaj phir din guzar gya ke Quaid-i-Azam ne farmaya: kam kam aur kam aur ye btaiya hi nahi ke konsa kam?

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Pathan: Ye kis cheez ka khait hai.
Kisaan: Ye kappaas ka khait hai jis se kapre bante hain.
Pathan: Is main shalwaar wala poda konsa hai?


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