Sunday, 11 January 2015

Urdu Jokes - Part 17

Reporter: Ap ka favourite cricketer kon hai?
Meera: Age Flower
Reporter: Heran ho kar ye kya hota hai?
Meera: Mera matlab Umar Gul

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Mareez: Dr. Sahib mere upar wale dant ko kira kha raha tha ap ne neeche wala dant q nikal diya?
Pathan Dr: Neeche wale dant par khara ho kar khata tha is li'ye neeche wala nikala.

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Larki: Doctor sahib meri sister ko current laga hai. Kya karun?
Doctor: Ap 2 nafal shukrane ke parhain q ke apki taraf bijli hai.

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Larki aftari ke waqt shadi ke li'ye du'a mangne lagi to sharam a gayi. Kehne lagi ya Allah main apne li'ye kuch nahi mangati bus meri ammi ko 1 khobsurat damaad de de. Du'a qabool huwi aur us ki chhoti behn ki shadi ho gayi.
Moral: Aftari ki du'aon main fankari nahi karni chahi'ye.

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Party main 1 aurat ne mezban khatoon se pucha: wo khubsurat larki kahan gayi jo abhi yahan sab ko cold drinks pesh  kar rahi thi?
Mezban muskura ke boli: ap ko larki ki talash hai ya cold drinks ki?
Aurat ne jawab diya: jee nahi mujhe to apne shohar ki talash hai wo kameena bhi ghaib hai.

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Police: Sardar ji, darwaza kholo.
Sardar: Kya bat hai?
Police: Tum se bat karni hai.
Sardar: Tum kitne ho?
Police: Hum 3 police wale hain.
Sardar: To apas me batain kar lo.

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ATM main 1 sardar dusre sardar ke peeche khara tha.
1st sardar: Haha main ne tera password dekh liya.
2nd sardar: Kya hai?
1st sardar: ****
2nd sardar: Haha ghalat, 5683 hai.

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Mera bank balance 03 arab, 46 crore, 51 lakh, 51 hazaar, 51 so 7 rupay nahi to kya huwa. Mera mobile number to yehi hai.

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1 Pathan ne 1 Bazurg se kuch pucha to bazurg ne Pathan ko 2 thappar laga diye. Sath khare admi ne pucha; tum ne kya pucha tha? To Pathan ne kaha ke me ne sirf ye pucha tha ke 14 August ki namaz kaha ho gi.

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Larki: (sharma kar) ye pyar kya hota hai?
Larka: Pyar ka rishta 2 insanoo main wohi hota hai jo cement aur rait ke darmiyan pani ka hota hai. Farz karo larka=cement, larki=rait aur love=pani ab agar cement aur rait ko apas main mila diya jaye to wo strong nahi honge lekin agar in main pani mix kar diya jaye to koi in ko juda nahi kar sakta.
Larki: (hans ke) kamina tu shakal se hi mazdoor lagta hai.

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