Monday, 5 January 2015

Urdu Jokes - Part 13

Shohar biwi se: aj sham ko jab main office se ghar araha tha to 1 kutta...
Shohar ki bat puri nahi huwi thi ke itni dair main beta bola "ami, ami" bhai ne mera khilona le liya.
Biwi: Beta chalo khilona do bhai ko shabash.
Shohar: Acha to jab main sham ko office se araha tha to 1 kutta...
Ab dusra beta bola "ami, ami" Hassan ne mera balloon phar diya hai. Aray chup ho jao, pehle mujhe kutte ki bat to sun'ne do.

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Pathan: Bank main 1000 rupees jama karane gya.
Cashier: Ye note to nakli hai.
Pathan: Jama mere account main hona hai tum ko kya taklif hai.

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Paisa par kabhi bhi bharosa na karo.
Kyu ke paisa ap ko bistar de sakta hai par neend nahin.
Paisa ap ko kitab de sakta hai par soch nahin.
Paisa ap ki zindagi asan kar sakta hai par khushiyan nahin de sakta.
Isi li'ye ap apne sab paisa mere number par easyload karwa dain.
Bat karo haq ki chahe jan nikal jaye sab ki.

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Faqeer ne darwaze par sada lagayi ke Allah ke name par kuch de do baba. Ghar se larki boli kuch nahin hai. Jao muaf karo. Faqeer bola chalo apna mobile number hi de do. Baba du'a bhi kare ga aur message bhi kare ga.

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Police: Tumhara koi mulaqati nahin aya. Kya sab naraz hain?
Qaidi: Naraz to koi nahin. Asal main wo sab pehle hi jail main hain.

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Aik pagal letter likh raha tha. Kisi ne pucha ke kis ko letter likh rahe ho to pagal bola khud ko likh raha hun. Us admi ne pucha ke letter main kya likh rahe ho? To pagal aagay se bola ke abhi letter muje nahin mila, kaise btao?

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Bap: Aj mera beta upset kio hai?
Beta: Main ap ko nahin bta sakta.
Bap: Mujhe apna dost samajh kar btao, yar.
Beta: Yar, teri bhabhi naraz ho gayi hai.

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Teacher: "Sarak par goliyan chal rahin hain" translate it.
Student: Tablets are walking on the road.

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Teacher: "Wo gys aisa gya ke gya hi gya" translate it.
Student: He went aisa went ke went hi went.

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Pathan ke andar jin chala gya aur 3 din ke bad khud aik aalim ke pas gya aur kaha aalim sahib mujhe nikal do please main naswar kha kha kar mar jaon ga.
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