Urdu Jokes - Part 11

Larki: Baba ji! dua karain meri kisi samajdar admi se shadi ho jaye.

Baba: Ghar chali ja beti. Samajdar admi kabhi shadi nahi karta.

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1 Pathan aur 1 sardar motorcycle par ja rahe the to Pathan ne use btaiya ke brake fail ho gayi hain ab kya ho ga to sardar ne preshani ke alam me kaha: koi bat nahi Allah kare ga aur agli dafa pass ho jaye gi.

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1 Pathan aina dekh kar sochne laga ke yara is ko pehle kahin dekha hai. Thori dair sochne ke bad o lakh di lanat! ye to wohi hai jo us din mere sath baal katwa raha tha.

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Taliban ka muzakrat main aik aur khatarnak mutalaba ke naswar ko qoumi mithai qarar diya jaye.

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Dr: Tum shadi shuda ho?

Pathan: Haan! hamara aurat se shadi huwa hai.

Dr: Bewakoof! kya mard se bhi shadi hoti hai?

Pathan: Han! hamara behen ka huwa hai.

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Poultry farm ko check kiya ja raha tha.

Police: Tum choozun ko kya dete ho?

1st sardar: Hum choozun ko bajra dete hain.

Police: Ye achhi khorak nahi. Is ko gariftar kar lo.

Police: Tum kya dete ho?

2nd sardar: Chawal

Police: Ye bhi acchi khorak nahi. Is ko bhi gariftar kar liya jaye.

Police: Tum kya dete ho?

3rd sardar: Ghabra kar bola. Main sab choozun ko 2 rupees deta hun aur kehta hun jo khana hai le ao.

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Pathan: Mobile main songs dalwane hain.

Shopkeeper: Memory card do.

Pathan: Memory card to nahi hai lekin abu ka shanakhati card hai. Kya wo chal jaye ga?

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Aik shadi main aik Pathan bare dair se khana kha raha tha. Kisi ne pucha kab tak khao ge? Pathan bola yar main to khud kha kha kar thak gya hun lekin shadi card main likha tha ke khana 12 baje se 4 baje tak khilaiya jaye ga.

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Doctor: Ap kon sa oil istimal karte hain?

Sheikh: Sufi ka oil.

Doctor: Ap kon sa soap istimal karte hain?

Sheikh: Sufi ka soap.

Doctor: Ap kon sa toothpaste istimal karte hain?

Sheikh: Sufi ka toothpaste.

Doctor: Kya Sufi koi imported company hai?

Sheikh: No sir, Sufi aur main aik hi kamre main rehte hain.

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Nokar Meera se: Madam light chali gayi hai.
Meera: To mother light jala lo.
Nokar: Mother light kya hoti hai?

Meera: Uff, mom batti.

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