Thursday, 12 March 2015

Urdu Jokes - Part 25

Rukhsati ke time dulhay ka mobile baja
Larki walun ne usay bohat mara
Q ke
Ringtone lagi thi
"Dil main chhupa ke arman le chalay 
Hum Aj apni mot ka saman le chalay"

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Student: Sir, log Urdu aur English main bat karte hain lekin Maths main q nahin karte?
Sir: Zyada 3,5 na kar 9,2,11 ho ja warna 5, 7 dhar dun ga 6 ke 36 nazar aynge aur 32 ke 32 bahir ajaiynge.
Student: Urdu aur English hi thik hai Maths bakwas subject hai.

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Co-education main 2 tarah ke log hote hain:
1: Jin ko degree mil jati hai.
2: Jin ko rishta mil jata hai.

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Son: Mujhe shadi nahi karni q ke mujhe sab aurtun se dar lagta hai.
Father: Kar le beta, phir 1 hi aurat se dar lage ga aur baqi sab achhi lage geen.

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Aziz dosto!
Aj hum 1 ajeeb-o-ghareeb makhlooq ke bare main parhain gay.
Is jandar cheez ka name hai "biwi"
G han
Panjubi main "woti"
Bengali main "Istari"
Urdu main "biwi" aur "begum"
English main "wife"
Hindi main "patni"
Saraiki aur Sindhi main "zal"
Pushto main "khaza"
Arabic main "zoja"
Ye sare name 1 hi churail ke hain
Ye aksar apne shohar ke sath payi jati hai
Iski pasandeeda ghiza shohar ka dimagh khana hai
Isko aksar naraz hone ki acting karte huwe dekha gya hai
Iska sab se khatarnak hathiyar rona hai
Biwi rakhne par tension name ki bimari ho jati hai
Jo la-ilaj hai
Shadi shuda log fikar karain
Aur jin ki nahi huwi wo shukar karain

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Sardar: Yar main ne apni girlfriend ko gift dena hai, kya dun?
Pathan: Sone ki anguthi.
Sardar: Koi bari cheez btao.
Pathan: Tractor ka pichhla tyre de do.

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Rat aksar hum se ye sawal karti hai
Ae humnashin
Ke kon hai tere dil main jo tujhe sone nahin deta
aur hamare dil se awaz ati hai
WAPDA WAPDA WAPDA

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1 chuha sharab ke glass main doob raha tha, to waha se billi bhi guzar rahi thi.
Chuha bola: Mujhe nikal do please, bhalay tum ba'd main mujhe kha lena.
Billi ne glass gira diya aur chuha nikal kar bhag gya.
Billi boli: Dhoka diya, jhoot bola, apne wade se mukar ge tum.
Chuhay ne muskurate huwe kaha: Janu, us waqt main nashay main tha.

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Agar ap mujhe phool dena chahte ho to
Gobhi ka phool dena
Ap ke pyar ka bhi izhar ho jaye ga aur hamara salan bhi tyar ho jaye ga.

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1 shakhs 1 kilo jalebi khane ke ba'd bola:
Bhai thori cheeni do
Dukandar: Wo q?
Shakhs: Soch raha hun ke khane ke ba'd kuch mitha ho jaye.

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